An Open Letter to 'Lensflare'

You there - the young TV photographer in Ontario, Canada who's stealing from me. We need to talk. Better yet, I'LL talk; You copy and paste (you obviously know how):

You ... got lucky. When I first discovered your site, I was out of town on family business; too entrenched in important matters to give it the attention it so deserves. When I did stumble across LENSFLARE, I figured it was yet another photog-blog. As this always piques my interest, I perused the latest entry to see what this nice young fellow had to say. Imagine my surprise when I recognized the story as my very own. Sure, you changed the titles, replaced the pictures and altered the names to fit your own life, but every other syllable mirrors my own most recent post. 'How very odd', I thought, scanning the page for the disclaimer, punch-line or link that would explain such pilferage. I found none. What I did find were months and months of entries; all exact copies of my own work, save a few face-saving alterations. I have to admit my jaw dropped a little. Hey, I've been stolen from before - but never in cyberspace. I guess such a thing was inevitable, but the amount of energy it must have taken to make my words your own still astounds me. Vowing to give the matter my full attention when I returned to my upper lair, I bookmarked your site and logged off - but not before making a tactical error. I tipped you off with a hasty message I now regret.

"Who are you and why are you stealing my stuff? If you're going to be a thief, at least be clever about it."

Now, you've robbed me again. By quickly hiding your site behind a password, then moving it entirely, you have deprived me of the opportunity to expose your (far from) petty larceny. That's a shame, as I was really, really, really looking forward to your evisceration. Truth is, I still am. See, I'm of Irish descent and vengeful bent. I currently earn no coin from my writing, but I sure plan to someday. That said, you have absconded with my intellectual property and that is an ass-kickin' offense. But even as I sit here, plotting your utter destruction, I have to wonder WHY? I spotted no advertising on your site, so money can't be the motive. Is the hollow acclaim that turns you on? The few comments I saw appeared to be from people you know in real life. One in particular expressed surprise at your 'great writing'. That must just fill you with pride. It fills me with trepidation, as manhunts really aren't my syle. A good buddy of mine said I should be flattered at being plagiarized in the first place. I say, Eff That. I work too hard to let a coward like yourself co-opt my late night labor. You may have escaped with your identity intact, but I'm about to make you famous. Stand by... sleep tight, but know this:

You have robbed THE WRONG PHOTOG.

(http://imaginasianfilms.blogspot.com)

Of course, you could do yourself a favor and come out of hiding. Man up and explain yourself. I promise to listen - and answer.

I'm Stewart Pittman and I approved this message.