Rolling in the Deep

Boom microphones burst into flames if they dip into his shot.

He can change receiver frequencies using only his mustache.

Wherever he sets his tripod, begonias soon cluster.

High-speed police chases always follow his chopper's shadow.

Batteries grow stronger when placed in his pocket.


Oprah's photog comes over and jumps on his couch.

Whenever he wears jorts, a new South Pacific island chain forms.

His every whim comes with its very own time-code.

He once fed an entire village from a single fanny-pack.


Men on the Street stop to ask him questions.

He is The Most Interesting Cameraman In The World and his name is David R. Busse. Back in the summer of 1983, he even caused floodwater along the Colorado River to evaporate - but not before stopping to pose with a couple of mere mortals...

"We had no satellite trucks or other live capability from the California-Arizona border area, so we spent three weeks flying out there each day, shooting a story and flying back, to feed our footage from an airport tarmac in Riverside, Rialto or wherever..."

Sure you did, Busse, sure you did. Stay thirsty, my friend.

Kid and Spray

This isn't the first time nine year old Carter has manned a fancycam and unless authorities step in, it probably won't be the last. And to think it happened on a high school football field, where risky visual stimulants can render innocent youngsters agog with possibilities. Wanna capture a kid's imagination? Give 'em a gizmo that captures action, bends time and mines the horizon. But beware, that kind of magic can befuddle an otherwise focused child's attention. Before long, your little mathlete could lose interest in equations and then one day you find him deep in the glow of a local newscast... heckling reflections, berating bad light and shot-calling axis-fractures. It isn't pretty, and I would have hoped a full grown photog like Tommy Normanly would have known better. But dude says he has a damn good reason for handing his boy an apparatus that should come with a caution... (SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Use of this device may malign the spine, interrupt deep sleep and slow overall career trajectory.)

"I'm hoping by letting him play with it now, it will be like locking him in a room with a box of cigarettes. He'll hate it, get it out of his system, and never want to touch a camera again."

I hope so, Norm. Otherwise I'm calling Social Services...