I'm having that dream again...

...you know, the one where I'm covering the press conference and the room goes weird? Normally, I wake up as soon as the speaker's eyeballs start sliding down his face, but the other night the vision persisted...

There I am, happily half-conscious when the dolt at the podium starts speaking in gibberish. At first I'm confused, but then simply riveted as the monotone wonk sorta morphs into the lead Nazi from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Well, hey, I've seen that flick enough to know what's comin', so I block the shot of the nearest photog and scream, "Don't look, Marion! Shield your eyes!" Well, THAT doesn't even fly in dreamland so the photog - a guy I've chatted up at a half dozen structure fires but still can't name - throws an elbow of his own and before you know it we're grappling on the floor like a two A/V geeks fighting over whose turn it is to thread the filmstrip. About that time Himler's chin begins to drip, which is when I usually snap awake with the cat in my face, but this time I shake off my attacker, grab my camera and rise to my knees, lens cocked, loaded and ready to roll. There time stands still as I fight to catch my breath, knowing only that if God's about to strike down the Third Reich - or even that guy who was going over the city's new recycling plan - I'm damn sure gonna get the shot...

But what does it all MEAN? Am I projecting my inner sense of cinema on the most mundane facet of my day? Am I secretly wishing that something - anything - spectacular happen at these notoriously time-wasting events? Or could it be The Big Guy is finally about to smite yours truly for attending more pressers than church services? Naaaaah, it's probably just something I ate...

NAB '10: Check Your Head

Reticent as I am to mention it before booking passage, it's looking pretty official: Team Slinger WILL be attending NAB. That's the National Association of Broadcasters, a shadowy cabal that does little more than stage the world's largest Electronic Media Show every year in that glittering scab in the desert known as Las Vegas. Twice now Weaver and I have traveled there to take in the toys, shoot a few goofy videos and suck up as much free booze as strangers will foist upon us (that's me in the middle there, trying to shake off a hangover in the making long enough to finish taping). But we don't span the continent just to get hammered. There's work to do! What with fending off vendors, gathering enough schwag to choke a sales team and rendezvousing with certain readers, there's barely enough time for a contemplative stroll at the end of the day - let alone trying to rid Vegas of every drop of Maker's Mark.

But it's not the gadgets and ass-hats that bring us back every couple of years. It's the B-Roll Bash. A sausage party if there ever was one, this yearly summit attracts TV news photogs from across the country - all hoping to get a glimpse of the always tall Kevin Johnson, founder of b-roll.net - the highly influential message board that served as the Viewfinder BLUES proving ground. Long before I ever began to blog, I was honing my prose over at Kev's treasured website. For that I'm eternally grateful and if crashing his party every couple of years is the least I can do, well who better than a news photog to do the least that he can do? Don't answer that; just know that in a little more than a month from now I'll be breaking out my finest cabanawear for a surgical strike on Sin City. If that's the kind of thing that deploys your tripod, join us!

Already Rick 'the artist formerly known as Turdpolisher' Portier has pledged his attendance, Amanda Emily is setting aside her archives long enough to visit and we're still hoping that Tiger Woods will wing in one evening for a game of Pin the Blame on the Bimbo. Okay, so that guy's something of a tool - but with the year he's had I don't expect he'll be too eager to hang out with a bunch of sleazy media types, anyway. YOU, however, would be Perfect! Drop me a line if you're in the area come April 12th. I'll be sure to clear my calendar long enough to accept any chips, tips or gratuities. Just be careful, 'cause as we all know... What happens in Vegas will be heavily blogged about. See ya there!