Natural Born Dee-JAYS

Though I've yet to hammer out any contract, I consider Two Guys Named Chris the official morning show of Viewfinder BLUES. The reasons are many: Chris Kelly and I worked together briefly during his own turgid TV career. I once chased Deidre James through a Piedmont living room as she bestowed Christmas presents on an unsuspecting family. Having broken into broadcasting via radio myself (and summarily sucking at it), I have a heightened appreciation for Natural Born Dee-JAYS like Chris Demm. Mostly though, they brighten my morning commute. Unlike the piped-in platter of some faraway station's hard-drive, Rock 92's a.m. show is live and local; a tough act to pull off in today's syndication-heavy radio universe. But pull it off they do - with recurring characters, local media sleazebags and humor of the penile variety. What more can you ask for on your way to work?

I'll tell you what: competition. Every morning, the erudite Chris (Demm - not that dopey oaf Kelly) puts his rock-and-roll acumen on the line, taking on a new challenger each morning in a music trivia showdown of biblical proportions. Most days, I'm only a mile or two shy of El Ocho when the call for contestants goes out and most days I lunge for the cell phone like some Pavlovian dog. I rarely get through, but when I do I'm treated like a welcome guest - a strange sensation for a photog used to folks in handcuffs hocking logies at him. Lack of spittle aside though, Demm offers no quarter, routinely crushing my own trivia reservoir with his preternatural knowledge of everything rock-n-roll. You'd think the guy worked in radio all his adult life! Oh well, like being nominated for an Oscar, losing to Demm is something of an honor.

That's exactly what happened today as Deidre and the Guys exploited the glaring lack of Journey data in my pea-sized brain. No sweat! At least I was able to drop some knowledge about my favorite U2 album (Achtung Baby!), not to mention that boozey crooner Sammy Hagar. In the end, I lost of course - but this time only by one (1) point! That ain't too shabby when you're playing Demm, who rattles off modern music facts like Dustin Hoffman deconstruced People's Court' episodes in Rainman. But once he handed me my ass on a platter, he did me a solid by asking me to plug this very blog on-air. Thanks Demm - maybe now I'll be monetize this little endeavor, instead of trading in my time and dignity for a chance at winning a little lunch money. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go reread Hammer of the Gods, lest there be a shark incident question the next time I make it past your screener...

(Still reading this? Wow - you must really be bored! Go kill a few more minutes of your miserable existence by listening to the aforementioned trivia showdown. Just go to the Two Guys Named Chris page, scroll down to the Put Up or Shut Up section and look for my name. Then ask yourself, "Should I be bothering with this while our country's financial woes drag us into the crapper?" Just a thought...)