"Sooo, if you'll just push that button there on the top, that'd be cool ... preferably before Dumbledore here decides to rip my lips off. Yeah, I know he's attached to his keeper, but if she's pushin' 90 pounds I'm Quentin Tarantino. I've seen heftier security guards at Easter Egg hunts - and those Sunday School ladies don't play. One of 'em once marched me off the playground for teaching her nine year old a word she didn't like... Hmm? Naah, I don't remember which word exactly, but if you'll just snap that picture, I'll make up some new ones. What's that? 'What's it for?' Well, I got this website, see ... more of a blog really. I post pictures and stories from my many adventures. Two days ago I was at a seafood restaurant re-opening. No real photos-ops there, but I did dig on some righteous popcorn shrimp. Last week it was the zoo. By the way, you guys ever think about making one of those paper-mache first graders and filling it with wild bird food? Crowds love that stuff. I once saw a busload full of Shriners give one keeper a Standing O 'cause she sic'd a sea lion on a cardboard cut-out of Miley Cyrus. No joke - I'll send you a dub! Say again? ... No, I don't have Leah Beno's phone number... Tell ya what though, I'll see if I can send you an 8 by 10 glossy if you'll j-u-s-t push that but-ton..."
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