We'll Always Have Paris...

Try as I might, I cannot stop thinking about Paris Hilton. Not the slutty debutante so much - but the apocalyptic camera scrum that tracked her rightful return to The Pokey last week. Not since O.J. and A.C cruised L.A in a white Bronco has the electronic media been so openly ... masturbatory. Well, come to think of it, we pretty much yanked the nation's chain over Michael Jackson's show-trial and that whole Anna Nichole deathapalooza wasn't exactly an exercise in restraint. My point? I don't know that I have one. I'm just flummoxed at how a spoiled socialite's mental descent can cause the world's most powerful country to collectively soil their pants. And this is coming from a guy who spent the better part of a year tracking every move of three American Idol contestants! Thus, there's blood on my hands as well. I'm just glad the Hilton skank pedals her lack of wares on the West Coast - far, far, far away from my electronic beat. Of course, it won't be too awful long before some similar frenzy overtakes the Eastern Seaboard and I too find myself dodging squad car tires for a shot at something insipid. Where is all this fascination with the lowest of lifeforms taking us as a people? Hard to know, but one thing's for damn sure: the end of civilization as we know it will be prominently featured on E! Can you live with that?