Monday, February 23, 2009

Don't Stand So Close to Me

Proving he's got too much time on his hands, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty is demanding the media GET OUTTA HIS GRILL! Actually, he's just asking journalists to hang back a bit as they do that whole 'afflicting the comfortable' thing. Seems Canadian camera crews have a habit of bumrushing His Premiership as they pummel him with those pesky questions. It reportedly makes him 'uncomfortable' - and in a time when all of Ontario is in the grips of recession, what could be more important than their leader's comfort? Apparently, not much, for McGuinty has joined the Prime Minister and premier of Nova Scotia in asking that reporters and photographers keep a distance of five feet between themselves and any elected elite. That way, decorum is preserved, inquiries are repelled and no politicians ever have to smell what their local news crews had for breakfast.

Okay, the second paragraph is usually where I'd crank up the snark, but you know what they say: As goes Novia Scotia and Ontario, so goes the world! Hmm? You're right, no one ever said that, and as long the ruling class of those scenic places pretend they're royalty, no one ever will. Not that I'm pro-scrum, mind you. Truth is, I hate that pack mentality crap, but when a haughty lawmaker or some lecherous peasant is making a run for the elevators, it's no time for tea and crumpets. And mind you: I don't even know what a 'crumpet' is. That's because I'm an American; a uncivilized, boorish type who's traded elbows with competitors of every stripe - even when the subject of the hunt was that feckless worm Clay Aiken. Sure, it's dignity-free - but the best parts of journalism usually are. Everyone knows that, just like everyone knows the last thing you tell a bunch of nosey news crews is to 'back off'.

Which is why we can all expect footage of the Premier's spleen to pop up soon on a television near you. Ain't Democracy grand?


Senator's Forum said...

The dreaded scrum. I hate them also but nobody is going to follow the 5-feet rule. It only take one to violate the neutral zone then all bets are off, did you know?

Weaver said...

You're in luck, because I just read about Crumpets in my copy of "Uncle John's 20th Anniversery Bathroom Reader".

The Crumpet is a deliberatley undercooked bread made by "pouring yeast-raised batter into a four-inch-diameter ring mold on a hot griddle until the bottoms are barely light brown and the tops are riddled with little holes."

They are then toasted and buttered similar to an English Muffin, which, by the way, isn't English, but created by a Brit in the States.

And FWIW, the "Bathroom Reader" is worth every one of the 600 pages that make it whole.

Now you know. You can resume your normal smarthy programming as you see fit. ;-)

Lenslinger said...

I carted Chad's ass around all day while you were home reading up on crumpets? Sheesh!

Horonto said...

As someone who has partaken in many scrums with Premier McGuinty I don't blame him for his reaction to large scrums. A print reporter who now works in Ottawa had a nick name "the badger". Not that he for resembled the forest dweller which he was named , he would bombard and yell in Dalton ears. Sometime the scrums have 8 real ENG camerapersons half a dozen still shutterbugs and 15 to 20 reporters. Unlike our Prime Minister who limits access to the press McGuinty is available when the house is in session, at cabinet meeting and at events. this is not about accessibility its about civility. Can't speak for Nova Scotia Premier but a large scrum there is 3 camerapersons

Anonymous said...

Dalton McGuinty is like a floating turd that won't flush. Come on Ontario.... let's keep this turd afloat until we are truly fed up with liars.