Friday, February 29, 2008

Lemme Axe You...

Have you ever lingered on the edge of a horrible car crash, afraid to leave until the heartless bastard in the other rolling billboard pulls away?

Have you ever strolled through a packed convention hall dressed like a drifter on holiday, only to have men in thousand dollar suits fall all over themselves to help you?

Have you ever tried to be really quiet while dragging fifteen parts of a mobile TV studio into a somber press conference already in progress?

Have you ever cursed the very existence of some overly-groomed blowhard as you did everything within your power to make them look handsome, precise and thoughtful?

Have you ever questioned your place in the universe as a bloodshot Mom clutches a framed photo of her dead son and scans the horizon behind you for answers?

Have you ever traded wisecracks and shoptalk with a competitor you don’t know very well as the two of you chased a cadaver dog along a riverbank?

Have you ever turned every head in a sea of 20 thousand American Idol hopefuls simply by walking into the place with a camera on your shoulder?

Have you ever hunkered down behind your camera, zoomed in on a madman with a gun and hoped that - if the cops were gonna shoot him - they’d do so before that Chinese Buffet down the street closes?

Have you ever taken a moment to thank whatever deity you credit with your spot on the planet for blessing you with such a cursed way of making a living?

Yeah, me neither...


turdpolisher said...

Have you ever asked the nursing supervisor at the local hospital "You think he'll die by 6?"

me neither.

Weaver said...

'Have you ever tried to be really quiet while dragging fifteen parts of a mobile TV studio into a somber press conference already in progress?"

...and then left to do a noon live shot and then returned again?

Yeah that was Tuesday.

joey flash said...

i guess i haven't been in the biz very long, i only answered "yes" to a few of 'em.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever wanted to slap the face off of the over-zealous, rent-a-cop caliber security guard for questioning whether you really belong to the media, despite the fact you're carrying 100K in camera equipement, covered in TV station logos, and have a media ID swinging from you neck?


Anonymous said...

Have you ever arrived at a shoot at 6am, only to be told that nobody gets into the building until 9:30am when the security sweep is over? Damn producers!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever been shooting a 4 car wreck on the Interstate, calmly, with no unusual emotion, wondering where you will have a late lunch, then looking over into the ditch to see the Troopers losing their lunch because the accident was so bad?

Anonymous said...

After 39 years on the street I could depress you with a tome of "did you ever's". Fortunately for you I no longer need to ask those questions. (I now am working in a related industry) So I won't bore you with a lecture. There is a life through the looking glass. However, the look back I wouldn't trade for anything! Don't get me wrong, I do feel your pain! Stay alert, and do keep your collective wits about you while on the street. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't know what combat is like. If you have been doing this job for any period of time you are a veteran of urban combat!