Editors Note:

EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Monday, October 22, 2007

A Tale of Two Mediums

Through my involvement with ConvergeSouth, I regularly consort with newspaper people. It’s an interaction I find most invigorating, for there are deeper subjects to broach in life than where to place that last wide shot. Still, I can’t help but notice the striking disparities in the ink stained wretches and the boob tube goobs. Thus, I offer the following relief - but please, no wagering...

Newspaper folk think TV news people are vapid and overwrought; arbiters of inanity and walking examples of everything that’s wrong with modern day journalism. TV news people rarely think of newspaper folk at all.

The cockiest of the broadcast lot never leave the building. Instead, they banter their assumed truths and stale bromides from the sanctity of their overlit cubicles. Newspaper folk are much the same - though their trademark smarm usually involves more syllamables.

Newspaper photographers live for their photo credit. TV news photogs live for their light kits (the good ones, anyway).

TV news people begin their day leafing through every print edition they can lay hands on in hopes of finding a story to scavenge. Newspaper folk rush to the nearest television set whenever there’s breaking news. Neither group likes to admit it.

Newspaper folk are better conversationalists. They read thicker books, harbor sharper opinions and can speak on a wide variety of esoteric issues. TV news people, on the other hand, throw righteous keggers.

TV news people have no idea what it takes to fill all that column space. They cannot fathom the amount of research and internal debate that goes into the average Sunday cover story. Newspaper folk couldn’t turn a five o clock press conference into a six o clock lead story if their families were being held at gunpoint.

Newspaper folk KNOW the media landscape is experiencing a tectonic shift. The twin tubes of the internet and a diminishing audience has forced them to rethink their very approach to information dissemination. TV news folk are still looking up the word ‘tectonic’.

TV news people - specifically the on-air set - are justly infamous for misplaced pomposity and unearned arrogance. Newspaper columnists are much the same - they just don’t dress nearly as well.

Newspaper folk are convinced their communities hang on their every printed world. TV news people know the sun only rises to illuminate the next broadcast. Both camps would do well to get out more.

Newspaper women are a vexing, intoxicating lot. They use bigger words than you and can outmaneuver many a male colleague - both in wordcount and hard-earned street cred. But TV news chicks, meanwhile, are a lot hotter.

And what could be more important than THAT?


turdpolisher said...

TV news people rarely think of newspaper folk at all.

Newspaper folk couldn’t turn a five o clock press conference into a six o clock lead story if their families were being held at gunpoint.

Too true, and funny as hell!

Duff McMandar said...

Nothing beats some good ol' fashion smarm.

And our keggers totally kick more ass than newspaper keggers. Woo!

Nice job, one of the finer lists that I've read today.

Janet said...

This is so funny that I posted about it on xark. I even forgive you for the whole hotter remark. I submit that smarter is better than hotter in the long run.

Senator's Forum said...

I must agree with you Lenslinger, TV chicks are a lot hotter.

beFrank said...

Good one. Although I'd be willing to bet you're as well read as any of the print-people.

Rock on.

Austin said...

Great list! Very funny stuff

Anonymous said...

How about Smart and Hot. I should know. I have both.