Editors Note:


EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Lost in (Con)Fusion

Gillette FusionPardon me for wandering off topic, but something called a Gillette Fusion showed up in my mailbox yesterday and I can't stop staring at it. Can you blame me? It's gorgeous - an aerodynamic implement so overstylized you'd think the lunkheads from American Chopper dreamed it up. With its gleaming chassis and blue piping, I wasn't sure whether to stick it in my medicine cabinet or drive it around the block. And that was before I unsheathed it from it's hermetically sealed packaging. When I did, I realized why the damn thing arrived via postal carrier. The TSA won't let this much cutlery aboard any commercial aircraft. I can see why. With its 5 blade 'shaving surface technology' and extra precision trimmer blade, The Fusion boasts six - count 'em six on-board razors. Six! There are entire Eastern Bloc countries that protect their borders with less weaponry. Granted, I'm no fan of the clean-cut look, but even the freshest metrosexual would have a hard time explaining away this abomination. Personally, I blame the original iMac - the candy-colored computer that proved consumers do care about the way their technology looks - even technology that's destined for the bottom of a forgotten bathroom drawer. As for the sharpened arsenal, chalk it up to America's love of overkill for the sake of overkill. Just don't toss it in your carry-on bag and try to catch a flight. You may very well find yourself shackled off the coast of Cuba, using your new toy to peel potatoes, stir gruel and shank any over-affectionate cellmates.

That'd be too bad, as it makes for a fine shave.

6 comments:

Weaver said...

I got one too. Forgot to bring it with me on vacation so I could check it out. Great marketing ploy...sending hairy guys nice, free razors.

Brad W. said...

This must be the second shipping as I received one last spring.

Anonymous said...

Without mine it would fur growing up my neck and around my eyes. Can't live without it.......crookedpaw

Matt said...

Sweet!

Do check the replacement blade price though. I've had a similar razor for a while and they stick you with the replacement blade price!

cadencefilm said...

you guys got one for free?! i've been paying bi monthly for the (insert dramatically deep ad voice) smooth gillette effect.

Anonymous said...

I killed a bear with mine!