Saturday, April 30, 2005
Birth of the Blogcaster
Via the most excellent portal Lost Remote, news of a Nashville TV station hiring a full-time blogger.
WKRN has hired long-time blogger Brittney Gilbert to bring her considerable skills to their already impressive web presence. This excites me on a number of levels, not the least of which is opportunistic. Currently, TV station websites vary from the grinning postcard to the encyclopediac broadcast atlas. Where the local blogeratti figures into all this is still being formed. With Gilbert's hiring WKRN places their station at the forefront of this movement. I'll be eagerly reading her dispatches, curious to see how she'll meld her punk rock verve into the Nashvile affilliate's station mantra. Now, how do I get a gig like that?
Hercules and Robot
The quirky photog who blogs under the moniker Little Lost Robot never fails to slay me. Here he reacts with subversive glee at a used-to-be-Hercules Kevin Sorbo photo op. I swear if a fellow lensman shot me a look like that in a camera scrum, I'd drop my Sony from laughing so hard. I can't wait to meet this guy someday...
I Want My Blog TV
Friday, April 29, 2005
The Big Link
This week on The Big Link thrill to the nihilism and death metal stylings of one Patrick Eakes! There is none higher...
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Of Murder Trials and Survivors
“Man”, he said, flashing his trademark grin, “I thought laying around bored in the Outback was tough…this is hard!”
Welcome to my world, Jeff. Welcome to my world.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
News Unit Time Travel
“High Point P.D.’s chasing a bank robber off Hasty School Road. Scanner’s goin’ nuts. Where you at?”
”85, just shy of 109...” Now I was awake, hurtling down the interstate and late for a date with inconvenience. No longer drowsy with b-block feature fodder, I leaned into the wheel and pressed the accelerator, my marked news unit weaving a taut thread through the mean streets of Thomasville.
As I negotiated the gauntlet of stoplights and city buses, I thought about what lay before me. Covering the immediate minutes following a bank robbery was never easy. While the violated building wasn’t going anywhere, a growing contingency of law enforcers would no doubt be scrambling after the brain surgeons who’d staged the robbery in the first place. Since neither parties gave a damn about the TV cameras that inevitably joined the chase, it could be a bitch to cover.
But before I could cover this latest foot race fiasco, I had to get there. Doing my best to get through town without braking too many laws, I gunned the engines to close in on an old Caddy up ahead. As I did, three unmarked Crown Vics fell in behind me. Through the rearview mirror, I could see the jug-eared silhouette behind the lead car’s steering wheel. Studying the outline, I recognized the breed as small town detective - from the angry flat top haircut to the unfortunate clip-on tie holding everything intact. Wishing they were ahead of me instead of behind, I punched the gas to give them space….and almost slammed into the Cadillac in front of me.
The knuckles and blue hair gave her away, though both were barely visible above the Caddy’s front seat. Through her side view mirror I could see the stoic face of a family matriarch who was in no rush to get to the grocery store, or church, or quilting bee. Whatever her destination, she held three cars full of law enforcers and one grumpy news photog hostage as she poked along on the two lane road. In a scene reminiscent of the slow speed pursuit of O.J.’s white Bronco, we reached speeds of 34 miles an hour for an excruciatingly long ten minutes.
Mercifully, the road eventually turned four lane and I happily let the law-dogs behind me be the first to blow past Granny. Once they did, I followed and the rolling countryside outside my news unit’s window turned back into a bright green blur.
By the time I reached Hasty School Road, life had amped back up to spot-news speed. Up ahead, the unmarked units turned down different side streets, joining the roving fleet of squad cars that was combing over every inch of the rural stretch. The law was also on foot - everywhere I looked sheriff deputed were sprinting across yards, knocking in doors, interviewing farm wives. With a curse and a shrug I whipped into a gas station’s gravel lot and threw the Ford Explorer in park. Outside the news unit, two women in NASCAR t-shirts watched slack-jaw from the store’s doorway as a Dukes of Hazzard episode unfolded before them.
“Hey ladies,“ I said as I pulled my tripod and camera from beneath the tailgate. “Where day at?”
The one in the Intimidator shirt unfolded her beefy arms, revealing an old, oversized cell phone and lots of jiggly arm-flesh,
“All da law’s headin down thar…”
I followed the direction of the woman’s outstretched hand and saw more blue twinkling in the distance. Instinctively, I leveled my lens and hit the Record button. Through my viewfinder I could see police cars pouring into a subdivision. Zooming out, I followed the sound of a thunderous engine and caught a perfect frame of a tinted-window Crown Vic thundering past me.
“Scanner’s saying they caught one of them! Back in some neighborhood…” I was back behind the wheel, the cell phone jammed in my ear and barking instructions.
“Left on Century, Right on Peacock, then it should dead-end.” I could hear my assignment editor’s map book rustling in the background. But by that time I had to drop the phone to grab the steering wheel, whereupon I quickly parked my news unit in a cockeyed driveway. Leaping out of my ride, I grabbed the camera and ran toward the cluster of cops cars and uniformed officers down the block.
I was halfway there when the police cars began pulling out. Skidding to a stop I shouldered my camera and brought the first black and white into view. Half out of breath, I had to brace myself to steady the shot. Hitting the VTR button with my thumb, I followed the approaching cars on a tiny screen an inch from my eye. The first zoomed by in a huff of but several large men with walkie-talkies were holding the third one up.
With my sonar pinging, I kept the car in frame while I jogged toward it. When I did the deputies stepped back from the car and it began inching forward. I zoomed out and stepped closer. Through the car’s window and my lens I saw a handcuffed figure with sandy blonde hair trying to become one with the floorboard. I smiled inside, glad to have bagged my quarry. But just as the suspect’s image embedded itself onto my disc, the deputy driver hit the gas and my video trophy shot out of sight.
Police radios cracked in the distance as I stood there, breathing heavy and reviewing the shots in my mind. Quite certain my footage would consist of no more than thirty seconds on-air, I caught my breath and tried not to think about the appointments I was now late for. Still, as I trudged back to my idling SUV, I quietly savored the flavor of a job that still occasionally gets my pulse going.
Of course that was all forgotten two hours later when I found myself stuck at a press conference, half-listening to the German CEO of a Chemical plant prattle on in heavy-accented deadpan about how excited he was to be coming to the Piedmont. There’s a clock stopper for ya.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Isabel and Me
Sunday, April 24, 2005
The Tar Heel Tavern (#9)



Saturday, April 23, 2005
Tavern Time Running Out...

Friday, April 22, 2005
The Big Link
This week on The Big Link, a blogger whose undying passion makes me question my own crusty cynicism.
Bass-Zapping at Salem Lake
All was going well aboard our small craft as the Wildlife guys dropped the zapper into the drink and fired up the generator. For about three minutes, dazed fish with X’s in their eyes popped up all around us. As they scooped the Bass into our boat, I followed the action in my viewfinder, trying my best to stay out of the way and avoid dropping my high-dollar fancy-cam into the water (been there).
Overall, not a lousy way to spend a Thursday morning. Wonder what I’ll do today?
Thursday, April 21, 2005
The Tavern Beckons...

But why? Has the whole blogosphere dried up? Have the angry politicos packed up their on-line screeds to concentrate on their collection of bipartisan cookbooks? Have all the pet lovers destroyed their photo spreads of Fido and Fluffy and chosen to focus on their investment portfolios? Have all the would-be media darlings set fire to their seething epistles and decided their bosses truly do a better job of speaking for them? Will I become known as the guy who shut down The Tar Heel Tavern? You know - the same way people blame George Clooney for bringing the Batman film franchise to a screeching halt...IS THIS THING ON?!?
Ahem. You alone have the power to ease my strife and help breathe new life into this burgeoning blog carnival, simply by submitting your favorite post of the week to your friendly neighborhood lenslinger (lenslinger at northstate dot net). Do so and I’ll add your brilliance to the on-line repertoire that comprises the Tar Heel Tavern - a publication destined to be read by at least a half dozen North Carolinians. It’s easy, just e-mail me your post, blog title and any other information you deem pertinent. For more info on the Tavern itself just click here to read the fine print. You could even sign up to host a future Tavern! Then you too could savor joy of checking your inbox hourly for submissions only to find reams of unwanted spam.
Speaking of which, it says right here for only three payments of $19.95 I can increase the size and stamina of my… well, never mind that - just do me a favor and shoot a submission my way. Otherwise I’ll be forced to fill this week’s Tavern with twisted episode of my life behind the lens. You know, like that time I chased a young Bigfoot through the woods with my Mom’s camcorder. It was a brilliant summer evening back in 1980, I was just a boy with a viewfinder and a thirst for adventure...
Remember, last Call for The Tar Heel Tavern is Midnight on Saturday…
My Life with Motley Crue
In my senior year of high school I took part in one of those embarrassing rituals unique to pep rallies and adolescence: The Air Band Competition. Flattered at being chosen yet worried about making a complete ass of myself, I took to the gymnasium floor and played my best air guitar to the Crue’s remake of ‘Smokin’ in the Boys Room’. Luckily I wasn’t down there alone. Instead I was flanked by two righteous buddies who’s just joined me in a little boys room smoking’ of our own. We may not have been cool as we shook our mullets in head-banging unison, but we were damn sure rock and roll.
As with many landmark events in my life, it was captured on videotape, thanks to the steady-handed efforts of a well-off buddy and his early camcorder. We used to cue that puppy up and watch it all the time, but as the years wore on we thought better of sharong the tape’s contents with others. That musty beta-tape now lives happily in the Embarrassment Relocation Program.
Several years later I found myself a reluctant member of the U.S. Navy. While stationed din Norfolk, some squid buddies and I scored tickets to the Motley Crue/Whitesnake show at The Scope. I wasn’t a huge fan of either band but looked forward to getting off the ship and maybe even seeing some girls in the process. All went well until the night of the show, when I somehow lost my ticket between the car and the Coliseum. To this day I don’t know how I lost that ticket but it may have had something to do with all the ‘losing juice’ I’d been drinking that afternoon. Whatever the case, I was absolutely crestfallen as my buddies left me in the parking lot to fend for myself as they went inside to soak up all those pyrotechnics and drum solos.
Suddenly, I wanted to attend that concert more than anything. As the first chords of Whitesnake’s opening act wafted outside, I trolled the grounds of the Coliseum’s complex, bummed out, broken and bereft. But my luck changed after I spotted a disheveled figure sitting on a park bench. For a homeless guy he sure was popular. After a few more minutes of watching the casual traffic around his bench, I approached the old guy and soon bought my first scalped concert ticket. My last too, come to think of it.
Thanks to the old man, and willingness to sell me a ticket at only double the face-value - I rawked with the Crue in all their cocksure swagger. More accurately, I hung back and watched individual audience members as they shimmied and genuflected to their own-stage gods. To this day I can still see a rotund fellow in a wife-beater t-shirt pumping his chubby fists in drum solo supplication. Perhaps therapy would help erase that.
Instead of erasing memories, let me hit the fast-forward button to, oh …about twelve years. No longer a high school poseur or drunken sailor, I paced the spaces of an underground parking garage and shifted my betacam from shoulder to shoulder. Two flights up, a bailiff readied a courtroom for the arrival of one Nikki Sixx, due in court to face charges related to an earlier concert turned near-riot. Loitering in the subterranean darkness, I no longer gave a flip about the misadventures of a spoiled millionaire. But since Nikki Sixx’s mug on tape was what my bosses demanded me of that day, I was once again following the Crue. I was trying to remember all the words to ’Dr. Feelgood’ when my cell phone rang.
“Eugene Street Side! Eugene Street!”
The slight panic in my co-worker’s voice told me Mr. Sixx was on the property. As I ran out of the garage and into the sunlight I caught a glimpse of my fellow photographer chased in man with long, impossibly black hair. I tried to join in the pursuit but by the time I leveled my own weapon, the tattooed pseudo-bass player had slipped into the courthouse and out of sight. Left with nothing but empty tape and rock star vapor, I huddled with my co-worker and exchanged notes. After a brief strategy session, I took position to await Nikki Sixx’s inevitable egress from the Guilford County justice system. As clerks and lawyers took their briefcases for morning walks all around me, I sat on a low wall and thought about my role in life and that of a globe-trotting eighties metal icon. Whatever lay ahead, I was glad to be nearing the end of my interaction with one Motley Crue.
And here I sit writing almost 900 words about them. Sheesh…
Hovering Over Contraband
“It’s a pretty good lick, allright” said Hurley, which is sheriff-ese for ‘I’m pleased with the outcome of this investigation‘.
Amazingly, people continue to try and smuggle drugs up the 220 corridor, despite the unsavory odds of spending a good many years in the Pokey. Its this fact that keeps the Drug Interdiction Task Force so enthusiastic, for they know that the next shifty-eyed drifter with out-of-state plates they pull over may be their next million dollar hit. A pretty good lick, indeed.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
My Own Mount Trashmore
Which brings me to this picture. I was merely trying to illustrate the size of the trash heap, but the image I came away with reminds of those Demotivation Posters I’ve seen on-line. But in the hustle and bustle of an incredibly busy week, I’m having trouble coming up with a caption. Any suggestions? The person with the best line wins a Viewfinder BLUES virtual t-shirt...
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Calling All N.C. Bloggers!

Just hurl the URL of your best blog post from this week to your friendly neighborhood Lenslinger (lenslinger at northstate dot net). I’ll add it to the vat and let it simmer 'til Sunday. Then - on the Seventh Day, I’ll fling open the doors of the Tar Heel Tavern and serve a sloshing, frothy swill to binging blogaholics from the mountains to the coast. Why go out of state for watered-down wisdom when the Good Stuff’s right here on cyber-tap? Not to mention the bar nuts...
See ya on Sunday. Until then, conjure up some brilliance and shoot it my way. Be sure to include the permalink to the post, along with your name, the name of your blog and whatever else you want to share with this bleary-eyed barkeep. If you’re a simple caveman and these types of blog carnivals confuse and frighten you, simply visit the Tar Heel Tavern homepage, where our crack staff will initiate the de-thawing process with a few stiff shots of blogger’s rotgut.
Just remember, Last Call is Midnight Saturday.
Monday, April 18, 2005
In Other News...
With the May ratings period looming near, a blogger’s meet-up scheduled for Wednesday and a Tar Heel Tavern to host, its shaping up to be a busy week. So you’ll have to forgive me for not having a fully formed treatise tonight. Instead, allow me a quick glance around the immediate blogosphere...
Colonel Corn is adding to his burgeoning blog with two recent posts of note. The first dispatch reveals how he obtained that lofty rank to begin with; a dusty epic stretching from the newsrooms of America to the battlefields of Iraq. Back stateside, the Colonel drops into a hot landing zone to free footage of friend-of-the-show Fantasia at her ghetto queen homecoming live shot showdown. Remember, many men suffered to bring you this message...
In a pleasing bit of blogger synergy, Interiors trend analyst Michelle Lamb answered my essay, Lordess of the Armoire with a posting of her own, My One Minute and Fifteen Seconds of Fame. The senior editor of The Trend Curve was one of the most easy-going people I’ve ever met at Furniture Market, a global gathering not widely-known for its niceties. Mrs. Lamb defies that trend, writing:
"I liked Stewart right away. He was casually dressed (he would stay off-camera) and pleasant. And what a pro! He made me feel so comfortable that all my fears about being on-camera just melted away as he asked questions and I answered."
Funny, she never mentioned the imaginary parrot on my shoulder.
Oh well, someone who’s NOT the least bit deranged (at least clinically) is the ever quixotic Little Lost Robot. This week the wandering android is on a Vegas Bender, prowling the concourse at the Television Industry’s biggest shindig of the year, RTNDA-NAB-LMNOP. At last report, LLR was seen spilling out of a limo at dawn and demanding cognac. You know how he gets when he travels. Somewhere between euphoria and rehab we should get a few solid reports. Oh, sign me up for next year.
Lastly, here’s a chance for me to plug a blog I truly love. Few other sites I visit drop my jaw as regularly as the phenomenal mountain photography on display at Blue Ridge Blog. Dubbed the life and times of a hillbilly photographer, it’s a pleasant enough journal of a Mountain Mom who just happens to take mind-boggling photographs. There is none higher!
"I liked Stewart right away. He was casually dressed (he would stay off-camera) and pleasant. And what a pro! He made me feel so comfortable that all my fears about being on-camera just melted away as he asked questions and I answered."
Funny, she never mentioned the imaginary parrot on my shoulder.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
We Interrupt this Live Shot...
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