If the top schmuckologists at The Lenslinger Institute woofed down a bag of magic mushrooms and locked themselves in a dimly lit room, they couldn't come up with such a delicious scenario:
A wedding videographer cheats his customers (allegedly!), draws the attention of local TV stations (predictably!) and bloodies an innocent fancycam while making his less than great escape (cowardly!).
If all that bad pub weren't troubling enough, Jesse and his father made it infinitely worse when news crews approached them at the Milbury Police Department back in June. Clark and his proud pop were turning over hard drives to investigators when the journalists closed in. Recognizing the opportunity to explain himself (and perhaps offer customers a fig leaf with his hard drives full of beaming brides) Jesse instead bends at the waist and plows straight through the Fourth Estate! It's a bitch move through and through - especially when the wedding 'tog in question shoulder-checks one of the news shooters - sending an up and running fancycam scattering across the blacktop. As the camera comes to a rest, you can see Jesse Clark himself wince - understandably aghast at the juvenile maneuver he'd just employed. But he doesn't pause for long. Rather, he picks up speed, launching a hard-target search his credibility, if not his missing testicles.
Recently, Jumpin' Jesse actually showed up in court to face arraignment. The charge: Asssault and battery on a fellow photog! Released on his own recognizance, Jesse Clark will return to court on October 18th, whereupon he'll no probably lose control of his bladder at the first sight of a news crew, then head for the hills, where he apparently keeps an emergency supply of adult diapers. Way to go, Jess! With your marginal talent, you've managed to upset blushing brides, provide two TV stations with endless fodder and actually lower the reputation of wedding shooters everywhere. We here at TLI didn't think that was even possible - and not just because the mushroom buzz is starting to wear off.
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