Monday, May 14, 2012

Driven to Jeers


 Top Ten Signs You've Covered TOO MUCH of the John Edwards Trial

10.)  You've stopped looking for Rielle Hunter to pop out of a bush, but you still hold out hope of seeing Anderson Cooper in spats and a pith helmet.

9.)  A group of homeless men signed a petition urging you and "the rest of the undesirables to just move along".

8.)  One more shot of you picking your nose on CNN and that dealer you bailed on in college is gonna wake you up one morning with a cattle prod to the fruit basket.

7.)  You've heard every one of the sound guy's jokes and they ALL center around the size of his boom pole.

6.)  Some of the fellas were heard pining for the good ole days when Andrew Young would undress everybody with his eyes as he stomped into the courthouse. 
5.)  NBC's Lisa Myers won't so much as return your morning fist-bump anymore.
4.)  You've scored stinky green chalk off that same sketch artist hippie SIX times. 
3.)  You're on a first name basis with the parking cop, the Jimmy-John's delivery guy and that weirdo on the corner who hands out sporks in the name of Beelzebub.

2.)  Edwards no longer responds to your "Two Americas > One Crazy Slut" trucker hat..
And the Number One Sign You've Covered TOO MUCH of the John Edwards Trial...
 1.)  You're STILL blogging about it.


Don Moore said...


David Boyd said...

Two Americas, One Crazy Slut! Brilliant.

OurDailyFred said...

You just wrote #2 so you can sell

"Two Americas, One Crazy Slut"

baseball caps to the spectators

during jury deliberations.

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