Editors Note:

EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Friday, January 20, 2012

Weary from Prattle

Doug EnduresThings they don't tell you at The Photog Academy: You're gonna grow old staring at a podium. In fact, you'll gather most of your news standing still. But you won't have time to daydream. No, you're gonna learn to spot a CEO at a thousand paces, sidle up to his lackeys without really speaking and secure a one on one interview with the boss they hate. First though you're gonna wait. You're gonna lean against a back wall and fantasize about trap doors, sprinkler systems and giant hooks. You're gonna edit in your head while some guy in a thousand dollar suit reads off a napkin. You're gonna rock back forth in your sensible shoes until you're up to your fanny pack in' off the cuff' remarks. You're gonna learn to field strip a press kit down to the bare essentials, then go back to eyeballing the refreshment table. You're gonna curse the corporate hack running the audio bord, plug in anyway and record sound you know will never make air. You're gonna scan the room for big wigs you know, zoom in on a pair of hands and hold your fire until they start clapping. At one point, you're even gonna look over at the competition, lock eyes as if your both prisoners of war and quietly pray for an asteroid to hit the building. These are just some of the things they don't tell you about at The Photog Academy.

Next time, the TRUTH behind noon live shots. (HINT: It's all about The Price is Right.)

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