Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Some Kind of Monster

Jurrasic Fart
In an industry that keeps hiring younger and cheaper, it's almost impossible to age gracefully. And while I'm no longer the Velociphotog I was once was, I'm not quite to the Schleposaurus stage. So while I decide whether to chase another news story onto the fruitless plain or merely stumble off into the tar-pits, let's review the Top Ten Signs You've Been Shooting News Too Long...

10) Your first station-issued cell phone came with its own battery belt.

9) You were already working in television the year some of your current reporters were born.

8) You still feel bad about those silly-ass Y2K stories.

7) You remember when the station website was a test pattern.

6) That new photog makes you want to call everyone you worked with when you were twenty-two and apologize.

5) You'd pay good money for a few hours with a working three-quarter inch video deck.

4) You vividly remember quizzing strangers on camera about the shocking new Madonna Sex book.

3) You've spent a fifth of a century on-call.

2) You've watched the smartest people you ever worked with run like hell from this insipid business.

 And the Number One Sign You've Been Shooting News Too Long...

1) You find yourself writing about it on the internet.


cyndy green said...

10. My first station-issued cell phone was powered by the live truck battery (it was a Marine phone meant for emergency use on ships)
9. Yep
8. Thank goodness I worked in a bureau where we did the usual crime and grime. The main station got the sexy stuff
7. In black and white yet
6. Make that twenty-five for me and yes
5. Never. Beta yes - 3/4 NO!
4. I claim Bureau status. Again.
3. More than a quarter of a century, but who's counting
2. I wish...most of them were canned
1. I would NEVER do that. Ever. (just ignore this)

Scott "Shootist" Dobson said...

10.) With three minutes of battery life and a three mile range.

9.) More than half

8.) Reporter and I were the ONLY two people at Pittsburgh's airport. Somewhere there has to be security video of us throwing a football up and down the terminal.

7.) With an Indian Head.

6.) Oh yes, indeed. God yes!

5.) I HAVE a working 3/4" machine. I want a telecine.

4.) Outside Borders, South Hills Village Mall, Bethel Park, Pa, 10:52 a.m.

3.) about a third.

2.) the dumbest as well.

1.) case in point.

turdpolisher said...

i've got a jacket in my truck older than two of my reporters.

Mainstreet said...

What? saying my 3/4 inch deck is old school?
I KNEW I was getting hosed by the engineering dept!

Our Daily Fred said...

I usually used a wind-up 16mm Bolex when I shot, - and I had to soup my own Tri-X film in the basement film processor.

We didn't cut corners like the competition which would process the film halfway, and then run the negative on the telecine in negative mode so the on-air product would show as positive.

If I wanted SOF, I had to lug out the old Auricon, with optical SOF and run it off the station wagon battery if we were shooting outdoors.

I also had to hope the mic cables were not damaged, as the Auricon kit was often raided for a decent mic cable needed in a hurry. Of course the sound was crap anyway, so it was sometimes hard to tell.

There were no cell phones, but I had a VHF mobile phone. There were only a few channels and we could all listen to each others' calls.

Fortunately I stuck with the radio side where equipment was a little easier to handle.