Editors Note:


EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Monday, March 21, 2011

Fembot Not Included



Hey, stations! Tired of buying those pesky video cameras? There’s an app for that! And those lippy schlubs who think portage is art form? Can the lot of ‘em! All your really is the iPad 2 and a pretty person to hold it. So finds the fine folk at WKRG, who recently sent web reporter Lauren Styler out to cover a story with little more than the trendy tablet. Okay, so she had a photog trailing her and the whole purpose of the shoot to see if it could be done, but you’ll understand if I’m a little put off by the casing of my replacement. I don’t want to say it’s a watershed moment, but I think I know how Ah-nuld felt when the newer Terminator poured in under the door. Obsolescence? You’re soaking in it... I just hope I’m (not) there when The Suits inform the photogs their services are no longer needed, now that a direct descendant of Merlin is riding high in some spokes-model's purse. It’ll be like telling a kitchen full of career firefighters they’re being replaced by six ashtrays and a George Foreman grill.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a HUGE fan of Apple. They’re like the R&D department of the entire computer industry. But just because something is technically possible doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. (Snuggie, anyone?) And while most of my ire is pure writing device, I gotta ask: Is using a futuristic tool to shoot the same old song, dance and extended stand-up progress at all? Perhaps, but no amount of magical gadgetry will make up for a lack of imagination and we as an industry are as low on original vision as we’re about to be on fresh videotape. So you’ll excuse me if I remain unconvinced, for any report that ends with the line “Time will tell” is about as cutting edge as that Carpenters 8-track stashed in my attic. Besides, can an iPad 2 get you lost en route to the story, then make up for that lost time in the edit bay? Can it waltz through a crowded ballroom dressed like a roadie and not feel the lest bit self-conscious? Can an iPad 2 trade off-color remarks with its buddies at wholly inappropriate times?

Probably, but you’re gonna need extra batteries.

6 comments:

turdpolisher said...

notice the real photog only shot wide shots. that's because you can't zoom a computer . . . unless you count flinging it out of a window zooming.

job safe. . . for now.

Jim said...

Surprised by the good quality of the audio the Ipad delivered, not bad. Also if the market offered 4G internet service she could do this LIVE (Engineers beware)!

30frames said...

At the very end of the iPad2 video you can hear the photog say "It's hard to hold stil.." Not some pretty blonde who likely will need arms the size of a python to get any usable shots.

Anonymous said...

The PKG was so simplistic that maybe the iPad could get some of the same shots but they looked awful and that, combined with the audio quality, would make it unusable here. I applaud them for giving it a try but it just doesn't work. Like Lenslinger said, just because it can doesn't mean it should.

Emily said...

This is a long overdue comment: Lenslinger, you are my hero.

BRIAN said...

I watched the video on the left first thinking it was the computer video and thought that looks great! and then watched the video on the right, not happy with the quality, and I can't imagine how bad it would look on a High definition television. it would work well for Facebook I suppose, and that seems to be the path news is headed in:}