10) The unmistakable sound of Droid Tetris is emanating from deep within Tripod Row.
9) The TSA Agent you convinced to drive the VIP's over from the airport is insisting on a cavity search.
8) The lavaliere microphone the in-house audio guy insisted you wear has slipped down your trousers and is amplifying your flatulence.
7) Your intern stocked the press kit bags with muscle relaxers and cans of Red Bull.
6) The perky PR flack you hired to beam reassuringly at you from the back of the room is for some reason flipping you off.
5) That jack-ass with the blog has turned off his fancycam and is now pointing his camera-phone at you
4) That tool from Wikileaks switched your opening joke index card with a recipe from The Anarchist's Cookbook.
3) Who knew the all-nude bagpipe revue rehearsed in the space next door?
2) That writer from the free weekly is using the press release you handed him to de-seed his dime bag. Don't worry though, it's medicinal.
And the Number One Sign your press conference is tanking...
1) You turned out the lights and no one noticed.