Editors Note:


EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Thursday, November 04, 2010

To the Makers of Megamind...

You're holding the camera wrong.

Dear DreamWorks,

Congratulations. With your latest animated release, you've captured the imagination of moviegoers everywhere - for at least a weekend, anyway. We here at the Lenslinger Institute couldn't be happier for you and may even use our children as an excuse to attend this 3-D feast of computer-generated mayhem. We're especially stoked about the character of 'Hal', frantic TV cameraman by morning, misguided superhero by mid-afternoon. He's a riot, and a fairly believable one, too. Dumpy, vested, hapless: You guys nailed it! Not since Chris Elliot totally skeeved out Andie MacDowell in Groundhog Day has a television news photographer been portrayed so realistically. There's really only one problem...

HE'S HOLDING THE &#$% CAMERA THE WRONG WAY!

Honestly, no TV News Photog worth his weight in Double-A batteries would be caught dead gripping his rig like that - in ANY dimension! Ergonomically, it makes no sense, not to mention the fact that it elevates said cameraman's armpit to a bedeviling level! Have you smelled a TV News cameraman's armpit? It ain't the kind of thing that fills theater seats! Now, I know what you're thinking: We small-screen schlubs are overreacting. Not true. For as long as lenslingers have been featured in cinema, you Hollywood types have simply mismanaged the handling of this everyday object. What gives? Would you notice if the Priest from 'The Exorcist' held his crucifix upside down? Would you insist that crusty backwoods sheriff character twist his pistol sideways all ghetto-like? Would you let a Jedi Knight pick up his light saber by the wrong end? We. Think. Not.

Now, we don't expect you to correct this oversight. Animation is expensive, after all and we TV Newsers know just how irritating it is to make a last-minute re-cut. But this is 2010 and if your otherwise delightful movie makes even a modicum of bank, a sequel is all but inevitable. You probably already have it story-boarded. PLEASE - consider the positioning of Hal's right hand in any future productions. Sure, it's a small thing, but this tiny adjustment would mean the world to we TV Type and in turn create an army of dumpy, vested, hapless DreamWorks believers.

Come on... how ELSE ya gonna kick Pixar's ass?

7 comments:

Horonto said...

Touché

liveapartmentfire.com said...

A longtime Hollywood pet peeve, nailed.

Anonymous said...

Well said...
We've all picked apart movie makers attempt to create what we do, but it really is annoying when you see stupid crap.
There's a scene in Runaway Jury where a live truck in the background is moving down the street with the mast up.
I think it's Natural Born Killers where the crew goes live from inside the prison with no means of transmitting at all.
In the old days you'd see camera not connected by any cable to the 3/4 deck slung across the other other shoulder.
Rad

Amanda Emily said...

And in the even older days you would find Eyemos miraculously able to record sound...

30frames said...

I have no idea what you are talking about. My armpits fill theater seats everyday.

plazas con cherlon said...

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Anonymous said...

haha! i find that halarious! that is really funny!!! :D