Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Legends of the Scrum

One Musketeer 2.0
Attention Rookies: Beware the dude looking totally chill in the middle of a shit-storm. He's about to block your shot. It's nothing personal. He's just been here before. He knows the podium and the players, his sat truck is perfectly parked just outside the door and he already knows what he's having for lunch. Don't hate him. He used to be you. But the rub of ten thousand newscasts has left him more than sore. It's left him strangely centered, gifted with a sense of Zen so implacable you'd be ill-advised to jack with it. Give him room. Know that he's made every mistake in the book, including a few he invented himself. So do yourself a favor. Be nice. He'll be nice back, for if decades of dealing with drifters, incumbents and news directors has taught him anything, it's that you don't HAVE to be an asshole just because you can.

Oh, and remember this: his time is more precious than yours. The suits know full well the powers he's honed. They expect him to bend space and twist time without getting his mullet in an uproar. If he came in one day able to levitate, his bosses would shrug, say it's about time and immediately assign him a three part series on Teaching Anchors to Fly. He'd do it too - not because he believes in the project, but because he refuses to put anything but his best on the air. How else could he stay so smitten with such a limited field of view? Don't answer, plebe. Just know that with enough fortitude, time and grit, you too can emit the vibe of a lifer.

Who knows, you could even rock one of those Three Musketeer mustaches the ladies love so much.


Laura Leslie said...

So bummed I missed the chance to say hello! I was there yesterday (the head to the immediate right of the camera light at left center), but was too focused in work to pay much attention to anything else. One of these days, I'll get to meet you in person.

Anonymous said...

Ya know, there's an advantage to being rather short and owning a pair of steel-toe boots.

Just saying...

Lenslinger said...

I actually wasn't there, Laura, but I'd jump at the chance to meet you. Anyone with an alliterative name like yours is okay in my book.