Tuesday, March 23, 2010

God Save the Queen!

Don't tell the Missus, but there's a new lady on my radar. And would you believe it - she's Royalty! Or so she claims. Truth is, I don't know much about the Local News Queen - other than the fact that she's brilliant and most definitely a TV News reporter. Come to think of it, that narrows it down quite a bit - but hey, I didn't come to expose this Mistress of the Snark, but rather to praise her. From the moment Doug Richards hipped me to her regal decrees, I've been hooked. Perhaps it's due to her acidic prose, her trenchant opinions or the fact that her every other sentence is something I wished I'd written. Consider her entry regarding on protesters: a scathing take on the eternally indignant that tells me the Queen has covered a picket line or ten:
"Our local protests always consist of the same people. It’s like they toyed with the idea of becoming a Rotarian, but instead opted to start a disapproval club... My favorite is the anti-war protest. I’m just guessing, but I don’t think the President of the United States is going to pull troops out of Afghanistan because a bunch of unemployed hippies, who haven’t showered since the Soviets pulled out of Afghanistan, are waving their Spin Doctors knit hats in the July sun."
I read that this morning and have been chuckling over Spin Doctor hats all day. I've also thought about just how much I detest protesters, a deeply-held opinion resulting from years of pointing a camera at the same ten unwashed dill-weeds. Hey, I'm all for freedom to dissent, but your little demonstration would carry more weight if the guy shrieking about the evils of forced busing wasn't the same dreadlocked goober who threatened to chain himself to the golden arches if Ronald didn't bring back the McRib FOR GOOD this time! But I digress; something you'll never catch the Local News Queen do. She's way too busy issuing epistles at a rate she may one day have a hard time maintaining (Trust Me). In the meantime, swing by the Palace and give the Queen her due. Tell her some scruffy serf named Lenslinger sent ya...

1 comment:

liv said...

I guess I haven't hit my Queeniness yet... still stuck at Princessdom.