Thursday, December 17, 2009

Snowpocalypse NOW!

Snowstruck FourOne Man Snowy StandupNews VanThe Final Run(?)
With the first flake yet to fall, newsrooms South of the Mason-Dixon line are already preparing to lose their shit. I know; I've been a hostile accomplice to these crimes against natures since Frosty was a frontal system. It's not our finest hour. Or is it? TV stations throw an awful lot of energy at snowstorms - even when there are blades of grass poking up through the open tundra. I myself have lit vaguely glazed parking lots like they were Rockefeller Plaza, thrust toothy coworkers on icy ledges and hitched more than one ride on the salt truck parade... It hasn't ALL been drudgery. Crystallized precipitation is a blast to shoot; so are the kind of ghetto beatdown snowball fights you can spark just by breaking the camera out in certain parts of town. I even like the way the passing cars lose traction and slide toward my live shot! But if it's okay with you and Snow Miser, I'd just as soon sit this blizzard out.

Hmm? What's that? How could I stand to miss the biggest weather story to come this way since that heatwave wilted all the dirtweed in Cannabis County? Oh, I'd find a way. I'd sit home and stir the wife's hot chocolate as the dog flipped out on his very first snowfall. I'd flip the switch the flip on the fireplace and bask in the memories of assignments past... all the riots I'm responsible for on the bread and milk aisle... the seven hours I spent on that overpass watching a junior colleague repeat herself every fifteen minutes, the time I urinated the station logo on that unfortunate snowbank... Yeah, I've gone snow-blind time and time again - without ever putting Unit 4 in the ditch. That's quite the accomplishment for a Southern-bred flatlander with a genetically bred lead foot. So I beg of you Zuess: grant me this one storm to stay at home and scrape the wife's windshield. Apollo knows I've earned it and besides, I'm officially off today! There's really only one problem... I'm ON %@&$* CALL all weekend.

See you out there...


Dedwarmo said...

You know you love it.

Bill said...

I used to really, really enjoy sitting in the passenger seat when my cameraman was barrelling us through the snow drifts and icy mountain roads, to set up a live shot, and stand there and have to say "so if you don't HAVE to go out, stay home and off the roads." not like we vidiots, heck we don't wanna hit you as you slide across the interstate.

so stay home and enjoy another cuppa hot cocoa...bein a bit north of you the weather gurus are calling for a foot of the white stuff. my back aches already.

turdpolisher said...

we had our brush with puffy rain a couple weeks back. it was less than spactacular, and we managed to not bring down armegeddon on our viewers. of course it did happen over night and nothing stuck.

bundle up. i'll be thinking about you while i sunbathe here in louisiana this weekend.

Horonto said...

Bizarre. Just west Toronto several kilometers from Lake Ontario I gaze out my front window.
An inflatable penguin, snowman family and their toboggan, resembling survivors of a shipwreck floating a sea of green grass. Frozen grass, but grass none the less. Sure we've had a dusting of snow that melted as fast as it fell.

Usually envious of the triad & the southern U.S. winter season, I don't wish severe snow storm on anyone. Especially brothers and sisters spending the majority outside in frigid blizzard conditions warning the populace that exposed skin will succumb to frostbite in less time than than a period of hockey.

A Sgt Esterhaus would say on Hill Street Blues.

"And hey, let's be careful out there.

Stay safe folks.

joey flash said...

Glad to have missed this one. Looks like I'll pay my dues down here on the next weather-related calamity

Getit said...

Thanks for providing this kind of information. Zapya for PC,Viber for pc,line for pc,zapya for pc,imo for pc,kik for pc