Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Born to be Mild

What sort of man reads Viewfinder BLUES? An insider; a guy who parks where he damn well pleases - provided the rent-a-cops can see his door logos. He's a bold enough soul: draped in technology but unburdened by personal style. You'll find him wherever danger lurks, felons smirk and poorly paid waitresses work. But don't try to keep up. This predator hunts alone. Unless of course a reporter needs someone to shoot a stand-up. But after that, the VFB reader will always return to the open road - free to chase down the happenstance that haunts him. Meth lab takedown, kindergarten sing-along, Bass Boat Show. There's nowhere he won't go - as long as the assignment desk says it's cool. You can love him ladies, but don't ever expect this brand of cameraman to settle down. His heart throbs to a different beat, and no amount of pillow talk will cure the allure of a scratchy voice drowning in a sea of static. Yes, the Viewfinder BLUES peruser may have no fancy letters after his name, but he's got a M)asters in Murder and Meetings, a Doctorate in Duct Tape, and the kind of weary leer that you just won't find in the pages of our competitors (whoever they are). So don't bother searching for this lonesome nomad; with the glass he's packin', he'll find you first - and then WHO'LL be deciphering my tripe?

(Special Thanks to Amanda Emily)


jimgrey said...

This conjures up film-noir images. Ever thought about writing a screenplay, a gritty retro thriller like the old crime dramas except with the radio reporter at its center?

jcb said...

WHIO! First, with News Car™ technology! When news breaks, we'll get there! Eventually! Using...a car! Then, a reporter will casually get out, slouch against the side of the vehicle, and sing a variety of Perry Como songs until asked to move along! WHIO...AM, FM, AND TV! The WHIO News Car™—when a bicycle isn't enough and a truck is way too much!

liveapartmentfire said...

And seriously, wtf make of car is that anyway? A Sunbeam wagon, maybe? I need to get on with my life, but I can't stop looking at this photo. OK, now I'm stopping.