Editors Note:


EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Wayne's World

ATTENTION: The following is NOT some pithy attempt to gain the favor of social media superstar Wayne Sutton. It only reads like one...

By the time we got to Raleigh, the Novocaine was beginning to wear off. Thus, what had felt like a sleeping caterpillar under my lip now twitched and throbbed like a wasp waking up from a three day bender. And yet still I had to grin upon entering The Edge, for there sat a cyber-wiseman the likes of which you don't stumble upon every day. Meet Wayne Sutton: technology evangelist, new data strategist, dude with an iPhone stuck to his face. When I realized he was taking our picture, I tried to smile, but the hour old filling made it tough. It didn't matter; Wayne seemed satisfied with the frame and sent it to Flickr before I could wipe the drool off the face.

'This geek's got game' I heard myself think.

Boy does he. 86 Facebook fans, 24,746 followers on Twitter, a longtime blog, gobs of podcasts, umpteen vlogs... this is one techie who likes to talk - be it via the laptop he packs, the fancy-phone he fondles or whatever babbling gadget Apple masters next. Whether it blows, glows or floats, Sutton is apt to early-adopt, provided it helps him siphon more disciples. Unassuming in person, this nattily-dressed nerd-star knows how to network. From Friendster to Linked-In to something called brightkite, this quiet cat lords over more dominions than a thousand creepy Burger Kings.

You can imagine how he'd intrigue a web-megalomaniac like me...

Still, I played it cool, occasionally thumping my upper lip to stun the grumpy arthropod within. Sutton didn't seem to notice as he answered Bob's on-camera queries. Instead, he dropped a workshop's worth of knowledge on the habit of interacting on-line. Making sure to record every word, I added to the inquisition with a few caveman like grunts and furtive motions. Luckily, Sutton spoke Spittle and we soon found ourselves lost in conversation. 'The Force is strong with this one,' I thought but did not say. Instead we stuck with the highly probable, like how pretty soon we'll be able to scan the interweb on our kitchen toaster - as it burns our bread to pre-selected perfection. I must admit, that more than butters my loaf - if only 'cause I likes to read.

How will I ever finish (er, start) that book if my waffle-iron comes with wi-fi?

You probably don't know and that's understandable. I myself have shifted visions, as it's hard to commit to building a hardback when soft-copy thoughts are so easy to share. Perhaps I should drop some coin on a fancier phone, pimp out my Twitters, make over my Facebook. Even if I do, I'll likely never gain the following of The Man from Wallace. Wallace! Last time I checked the only thing they had there was a Mad Boar Restaurant on the way back from the beach. Do the town founders there know they got a new media guru so transparent you can see through him on sunny days? Once I break down all this ole fashioned lights and mirrors, I swear I'm gonna tell them - in 140 mumbled syllables or less...

Maybe I'll wait until I can fully feel my face.

No comments: