Friday, September 14, 2007

Arrest This Man

Usually I'm not one for issuing fatwas, but this dude should have his teeth kicked in. That, or charged with attempted murder. Think I'm kidding? This ain't no Schmuck Alert. That would be far too tame for this little felon, who - when caught hawkin' knock-off handbags at the New Mexico State Fair - decided to go medevial with a KRQE tripod. That action was rash. Grabbing what looks like a pretty new Satchler, the fake-goods pusher hurled the three legged beast toward the camera(man) with a force that has to be seen to be believed. Now, I'm no criminal profiler, but that is a dangerous individual.

Luckily, his aim was off. The flying sticks only grazed the photographer, injuring him slightly in the leg. Other vendors reportedly jumped in and security booted the dude from the fairgrounds. Too bad they didn't stuff him in the back of a squad car. Anyone who denies that that blunt, top heavy bundle of metal couldn't have cleaved open someone's head has never wrested a pair of sticks up a spiral staircase. I have and I got the pinch marks to prove it. Hopefully the New Mexico State Police, who are investigating the counterfeit purses - will examine the tape that all convicts this fine young taxpayer of assault with a deadly weapon. Until then, tune in here for his consistent villification.

It's one more reason why ... I'd rather be invited.


Anonymous said...

Why he was not arrested is beyond me... I guess since the intended victim is a news crew, then all is okay as we "all dislike the media," unless it is a death.

It may very well be because of that. "That" being the general negative feeling against the media, that we deserve retribution since we antagonize... we exist, etc.

A tripod is a WEAPON! I have used mine to defend myself, and it worked just fine. Without it I would probably have had a couple of new zipper marks at the least on my body. I gave out two broken ribs, and arm, and a nastily broken jaw to two guys with knives wanting to rob me.

J Pratt

Anonymous said...

I'm one of the venders you see in the video. This guy was angry and threw a tantrum. He picked up the tripod and threw it down. Unfortunately, it bounced up from the ground and hit the camera guy and not very hard either.