Monday, August 20, 2007

Weighing Anchor(woman)

Two days before the new reality show Anchorwoman (dis?)graces the airwaves, swimsuit hottie turned serious newswoman Lauren Jones is hitting the publicity trail. Sadly, she has not returned my calls. That's a shame too - since, ostensibly, we both work for the same people. Sure, the former Barker's Beauty spent her thirty day news career at KYTX in Texas, but her real gig is deep within the entertainment wing of a certain global communications empire named after a small red mammal. I know what you're thinking: the very fact that I work for the same parent corporation that foists this alleged abomination on the viewing public will hinder me from expressing my true feelings, will stop me from being completely coy, will cause me to bite my tongue in appreciation of my bi-weekly stipend. Well ... you're right! For the most part, anyway.

Truth is I can't get too cranked-up over a reality show concept that is so clearly farcical. I mean, come on, who ever heard of a small market news director hiring some ditzy bombshell to front a newscast? That's just NUTS! Next thing, you'll tell me news anchors read their scripts out loud with the help of some crazy glass contraption. PFFT! Allright, so I'm cutting The Company some slack and not just because they once greenlit the Greatest TV Show Ever. No, I'm keeping my ire (or raves) to myself, at least until I lay eyes on a full episode. After all, this titillating foray into newsroom scandal could actually be high-brow satire. What better way to highlight all that's wrong with broadcast journalism than reduce its very players to human cartoons? Hell, throw in a caustic photog with literary ambitions and I"M THERE! Now, have I ever worked alongside such a creature - a person whose only job qualification was a dazzling 8X10 glossy - a overly-coiffed colleague whose contempt for viewers was dwarfed only by their collosal vanity - a co-worker whose deeply-seeded incompetence was excused only because they could melt the glass off a teleprompter from fifty paces???

I'm sorry, what was the question?


turdpolisher said...

Damn fine writing. Wonder if the bimbo will understand.

Margaret Banks said...

You are my hero.

Joel said...

We need to start a write in campaign-- Lenslinger for Mayor!

What better way to get Greensboro on the map than to have a photog as Mayor. Also with Lenslinger as Mayor he would not only clean up government but could go toe to toe with any local editor satirical comments.

Lenslinger for MAYOR!

Weaver said...

Her MySpace (HerSpace)