Sunday, July 08, 2007

Regime Change in Chocowinity

In his fictionalized biography, a young Howard Stern locks horns with a Machiavellian manager he aptly named 'Pig Vomit'. When I first saw the film I considered suing the King of All Media, for he was obviously stealing scenes from my very own corporate nightmare. See, at the time I was two years deep into a career in Promotions. Instead of chasing drive-by shootings and Easter egg hunts, I was cranking out promo tripe for The Man - a most vindictive dictator we referred to simply, as 'Satan'. It was a dark time, one that only ended for me when I finally ran away screaming to a Piedmont newsroom. But while I sought refuge in a badly-idling news unit, many of my colleagues remained - doomed to suffer under the reign of a widely-reviled despot. That's their business and I wished them well, but I couldn't help empathize for them every time I visited Downeast and caught sight of a news product that seemed hopelessly mired in the Spring of 1982.

Well, 'Satan' finally got the boot. After running his affiliate into the ground with on-air contests that would make a middle-aged AM radio deejay wince, the GM in question no longer holds keys to the corner office. Glory be to Gray Communications. Ten years gone myself, it really isn't my business to care - but even a decade away doesn't erase the memories of my stint in a place we used to openly refer to as the 'House of Pain'. Thus, I'm moved to throw a little kerosene on the bridge I firebombed so long ago, for life is too damn short to cower before a pear-shaped radio hack with a bad combover. So congratulations, Eastern Carolina, you just received a sizable gift. Soon, maybe that wedge of light between 8 and 9 will offer more than chintzy call-back contests to enter, more than the very latest in twenty year old news graphics, more than utter contempt for you the viewer. And for the many of you who long ago programmed the number 7 out of your line-up, give 'em another chance, for there are many talented people there, ready to show you what all they can do.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go rent Private Parts.


Brad Weaver, BC Instructor said...

I guess I was too insulated in Jacksonville to know what was going on up in Washington.

Anonymous said...

Useless trivia, "Pig Vomit" was actually a gentleman named Bob Pittman, formally of AOL/Time-Warner. See, they ALL get what comes to them in the end!

Anonymous said...

Amen. As I understand it, his exit was rather humiliating, which is appropriate given how many, many people he abused and mistreated over the years. It's been a long time coming, but as the old adage goes "revenge is a dish best served cold."

dustin. said...

.....and don't let the pirahna bite your ass on the way out the door. And take that damn chair out with you....bastard.