Early Bird

I'm quite reasonable behind the wheel these days, but as a fledgling TV geek I was more than a little reckless. Once, while gunning a marked production van down a narrow side street, a brown sedan poked its nose out of a driveway and into my lane. All laws of physics insisted I t-bone the ill-placed vehicle, but somehow I averted collision. As I yanked the wheel to the left and shot by the shocked driver, I instinctively threw her the bird. 'Crazy women drivers', I thought, as I drove on toward the station. When the new Guns-n-Roses song came on the radio, I cranked the knob and pretty much forgot about the one-fingered salute.

A few minutes later I pulled into the lot and eased the van into its reserved parking space. Hopping out, I noticed my General Manager standing out by the front door. He was smoking one of his thin cigars and gave me his usual grin when I approached.

"Hey Ed, how' ya doin?' I asked as I lit up a smoke.

"Good, good..." he said as I jammed my hands in my pockets and took a long drag.

While I inhaled, Ed reached up, took his cigar out of his mouth and in the most casual, friendly way said, "Tell me Stewart, did you just flip off one of our biggest client's Aunt Louise?"

I nearly swallowed the cigarette.