Swagger to the Max

It was the end of the 80's and I was not known for my wise decisions. But even my heftiest of skeptic had to marvel at what I'd brought back from my military stint: a beautiful, brilliant, beaming girlfriend. 'What could SHE see in HIM?' they wondered. I knew better than to ask. Instead, I quietly thanked God for doing me a solid when he ushered this beguiling creature into my life. It was no less than a cosmic upgrade, for suddenly I found myself a civilian again, with a hot blonde on my arm. It's amazing what that will do for a young man's swagger. Yes, with her by my side, I wasn't even troubled bu the fact that my man-do would make Conway Twitty twinge. I credit the presence of this pretty woman with convincing me I had something to contribute to this globe; imagine her chagrin when I decided it would be (gulp!) local television. Still, that didn't scare her off. She pursued nursing, I learned to zoom with my feet and before you know it a wedding date was set. That was nineteen years ago today and even to my surprise, we're still going strong. Somewhere along the way, my lovely wife replicated herself; now I'm the father of two beautiful girls who I pray will hold off a bit before bringing home some lucky schlub like the one pictured above. When they do, I'll damn sure give him the business, for no one knows better than I the residual benefits of a good woman. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take out the trash. Life ain't ALL romance, ya know...