Monday, September 09, 2013

Blurred Lines

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It's a fact: If you stumble around in an existential haze long enough, people will start calling you out! At work, at the deli, at the random head-on collision... if ONE MORE person asks me why I'm not blogging anymore, I'm gonna have to come up with an answer! So far though, I've only mumbled a half-response while stifling the deployment of my middle finger. Just today, I was touring WRAL-TV when some very nice strangers piled accolades on the words I used to string together. If that wasn't enough to make me stare holes through my windshield on the way back home, I plopped down in the middle of what was once The Lenslinger Institute only to discover a eulogy of sorts from News Blues editor Mike James...
"Veteran news photographer Stewart "Lenslinger" Pittman, whose Schmuck Alerts and flowery prose always made us smile, hasn't posted to his blog 'Viewfinder Blues' for more than a month. Last we heard, he was recovering from a painful divorce and was struggling with writer's block and career fatigue."
No. He. Didn't. Okay, so he did. And you know what makes it so much worse? He's 100% correct. I am recovering from a painful divorce (to-be) and I'm damn sure struggling with writer's block and career fatigue. That first condition is more my business than yours, but I can tell you this: my wedded bliss is distant history and while I will never, ever, ever understand why, it's something I'm learning to accept. This realization, of course, hasn't come without some collateral damage: depression, self-doubt and enough unanswered introspection to make Dr. Drew huff a can of paint. As for writer's block, well, she's the only mistress I've ever had ... a frigid bitch who moves in and makes me pay for all the nights the Muse had her way with me. I'll run that hag off soon enough, but probably never for good. (Perhaps I should file for a restraining order.)

And career fatigue! Does twenty three years of riding around with gear in the rear even qualify as a career? Did Dr. Seuss take over the last half of that sentence? Is this thing even on? You show me a person who's slept, stepped and crept through as many deadlines as I have who doesn't have career fatigue and I'll show you an unfeeling schlub with a musty ball of gaffer's tape where his shriveled little heart used to be. Career fatigue, PFFT! I got three week old camera batteries with more wear and tear on 'em than the occupational distress I've shared with you people! I have not yet begun to bitch! So bring it on, snarky office mate! Take your best shot, creepy delicatessen lady! And you there, with the badly-wrapped sat truck and feigned concern for my well-being - come at me, bro'! I'll turn your latest mistake into Top Ten fodder, get plugged by News Blues in the process and STILL have to drag some beauty queen into the abyss tomorrow morning!  And as for that whole blogging phase I went through....

I'll get back to it eventually.     

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

You'll get around to it in your own way, in your own time, and that is all that matters.
Pay the schmucks no mind! Most of the people who feign concern for others are only searching for some gossip, or looking to wallow in some misery other than their own for a few minutes.
There are many of us who have noticed that you've been troubled, are concerned, but have enough maturity and respect for your dignity to give you the space and time it takes to sort through all the "stuff".
That said, if you ever DO need someone to talk to...I'll give you a wink in the hall to let you know you can confide in me.

Paul Martin said...

Whoohoo..!! That's the Lenslinger we know and love. It's time those camera batteries bounced off a few more heads...

Jim Grey said...

Eh, Mike James was premature calling your blog dead. A month isn't *that* long between posts. I assumed you were just catching your breath.

Mark Bell said...

Maybe it means something to know your awaiting-the-next-laugh-or-ponder-point public is out here ready to read more. I am. I believe I'm also speaking the thoughts of others. There's a lot of support out here, too, at least from me...the others can speak up on their own to tell you. I bet it's there.

cyndy green said...

Feel the <3

Amanda said...

Viewfinder Blues dead and the obits being written for a month of silence? Nah, that title is better reserved for b-roll TODAY. Here its more akin to a summer sabbatical with an undetermined end date.

Anyhow, all of us faceless names on a computer screen do care about you beyond this silly blog.

Anonymous said...

As much as I like reading your posts and finding helpful things in our area im glad you are still around.

this business is our business and divorce is more and more apart of it. I have seen friends get more divorces because of this business that we are in because of this business. sometimes you just gotta do your thing until your ready to come back out of your shell, its a time thing and nothing else, dont ever let the schmuks tell you anything different.

Anonymous said...

Talk about blowhards!!!!

Look at ones self before calling others out.

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