Editors Note:


EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Friday, February 17, 2012

Shake and Bake!

Last Import - 25

If the thought of fawning over grown men in flame-retardant onesies fills you with the same kind of indigestion it does me, know this: some folks eat that stuff up. Take Weaver. He was so stoked to go to racin', he offered to cover the entire Daytona 500 with nothing more than an Etch-A-Sketch and half a box of Twizzlers. Then he stabbed a guy in the throat for suggesting open-wheel racing was a superior form of motorsport. Since none of his fellow photogs would cough up the cash for an intervention, we did what anyone does with a troubled relative: we hit him with a lawn dart dipped in barbecue sauce and shipped his carcass to Florida. Now he's embedded with the rest of the Nascaratti as they search for subtext amid the roundy-rounds. It's a twisted, overly lit world where they dress in logos and use weird terms like 'drafting' 'restrictor plates' and 'Clint Bowyer'. Don't ask me to explain it; I fall asleep after Lap 3. (EARNHARDT!) As for Weaver, we figure after two weeks of hobnobbing with stock car royalty, he'll be ready to drop a few names back here at home. Until then, know that he's content to crank out twenty seven hours of race track analysis a day, provided he's got a clear shot of the straightaway the day the flag finally drops. So don't feel sorry for him, after all...

He's in a better place.

6 comments:

Amanda said...

Meh. Hydroplanes are a much superior form of racing over land-based racing.

Though sitting behind NASCAR nuts and giving play-by-plays of "oh my god, they are turning left!" is fun too.

FlutePrayer said...

I don't get it at all. Having said that, I still enjoy Weaver's tweets simply because he is having so darn much fun!

Weaver said...

I am in my happy place.

And Amanda - Boat Racing? Boats are for fishing!

Amanda said...

Fishing? Bah. Talk to me when they strap a jet engine to one of them NASCAR vehicles. Then we'll have some REAL racing like hydroplaning.

turdpolisher said...

Boats and cars are fine, but the real action is in the daily 4:35 Race to Avoid the Live Shot. There's more fender-rubbing and middle fingers in that one than an entire season of NASCAR.

Enjoy, Weave.

Rad said...

Yeah, NASCAR doesnt make much sense to me... although I come to respect it a bit more in my older years. And the sport has helped make skme cool technology for TV. But just once I'd like to see the car cross the finish line, pop the trunk and deliver the moonshine the sport was born from.