Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Logan's Scrum

Hardhat Hews
In the little seen Terminator prequel, Rutger Hauer stars as John Connor's father, Sal, a hapless NBC cameraman turned time-traveling cyborg killing machine. Lauded for its early use of steadicam technology, the film was equally ridiculed for its nonsensical top hat song and dance number. 2 out of 5 Stars.
Ya know, for a fairly forgotten photograph, this one still packs a punch. There are the headphones, of course. Why, I think I used those very cans to learn the multiplication table in summer school! They were messed-up then; I still can't remember seven times eight. And that hardhat! Wasn't carrying around that contraption humiliating enough? Now a guy's gotta worry about falling rivets? Besides, doesn't the radiation leaking out of that backpack eclipse all other safety concerns? Personally, I wouldn't crawl up under that bucket of bolts (called a "Creepie-Peepie" -- look it up!) without one of those bunny suits the bad guys in E.T. wore. Even then, I'll be sure to duck just before I hit the RECORD button - lest any ectoplasm shoot out of that top exhaust pipe, er, antennae... But you know what the most dangerous part of this get-up is? It's those eyes... Look at 'em... Alive yet... lifeless... lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes....... Hmm? Yeah, well you can gawk at the man all you want; I'm gonna show a predator some respect. Just don't let him point that thing at me. I don't need X-rays of my spleen smeared all over a future/past/present episode of the Huntley-Brinkley Report.

Who does?


turdpolisher said...

a creepie peepie? i thought that was the what they called the guy at the last perp walk.

Don Rushmore said...

Was it Ikegami that intoduced the HL series of cameras inthe 70's-- HL standing for Handi-Lookie?