Monday, February 07, 2011

Cracked Rear View

SLens Sunrisehe had a face for television and an ass the size of an old chest of drawers. That was okay though, since she rarely let G. Lee get anywhere near it with his camera. For six years they’d worked together off and on, Bridgette with her wireless microphone and winning smile, he with his over-sized Sony and thousand yard stare. Together, they were an Emmy winning news crew. Apart, they probably wouldn’t have much to do with each other. But local television makes for strange bedfellows. He knew she looked down on his late nights and young dates; she’d said as much. And he’d rather take a lawn dart to the eye socket than hang out with her society friends. Still, when it came to deadline making, G. Lee had her considerable back.

How couldn’t he? They’d interviewed Presidents and peasants together, sometimes in the same shift. They’d ridden in police cars, helicopters and a few Christmas parades G. Lee would like to forget about. Once they drove all the way to Philly to profile a new procedure some surgeons had up their scrubs. That had been a long trip. Somewhere along the Jersey turnpike, he’d even threatened to throw her Celine Dion CD’s out the window. He would have too, had she not relented and let him enjoy some low volume Metallica. In truth, he succumbed to her wishes more times than not. She was pushy that way; it was what made her such a good reporter. That and her insatiable need to stir whatever pot she could uncover. G. Lee still shook his head in disbelief whenever he thought of that drive-by. A young girl had died under a street light and when Bridgette had accidentally stepped in a puddle of her blood, a prop was born. That night in her live shot, she waved the bloody pump around like a conductor’s baton. Bad taste? You betcha, but it finally won her that gold-plated Goddess she’d spent so much money on.

Now, six years later, Bridgette and G. Lee were still on the beat. If you called chasing degenerates and bent fenders a beat. All those showbiz junkets and in-depth interview trips had dried up along with the budget. Now the aging beauty queen and the shaggy cameraman were back where they started when the first bush was on office. Crime, grime, a thousand points of blight. It made for easy fare, but G. Lee missed the old days, when he could spend three days in the edit bay, slicing away at some puff piece that only he appreciated. But there was little appetite for that now. All the desk wanted was murder, mayhem and the occasional marauding. Which is how he once again came to be parked outside the projects, watching Bridgette through the windshield as she chatted up the blunts and forty ounce crowd. With her powder blue pantsuit and blonde ‘do, she looked like an Avon lady trying to sell lipstick to crackheads.

“Care to join me, Spielberg?’ Bridgette asked the wireless microphone in her hand. Her voice crackled in his earpiece and he threw up a good natured middle finger in response. Then he stashed his Blackberry, grabbed his camera and began walking toward his weekend anchor lady in waiting. Whatever she was up to, he knew this forty two year old multiple cat owner with very few friends would see to it they’d get a nice dinner break along the way. It was one of the things he DID like about her. No matter the assignment, she made sure they ate, often picking up the tab. It was a way she let him know she kinda cared and would always have his back...

...as long as he she didn't see hers on any TV screens...

Any Given Photog


When's the last time some jacked-up gladiator flattened YOU at work? It happened last night to an unfortunate photog working for NFL Films. There he was, shooting the - ahem - "Big Game" when Pittsburgh Steelers Running Back Rashard Mendenhall plowed into him after a seventeen yard gain in the third quarter. Point of impact is eight seconds in: Mendenhall collides at damn near top speed, the photog takes it like a (camera)man, absorbing the blow and tumbling backwards - all while rockin' a blue NFL photo vest we'd ALL like to have hanging in our game room. As for the guy in tights, Mendenhall didn't seem to enjoy the encounter. He took a knee long enough to spit out a few chunks of fancycam. Here's hoping the photog's okay. Now, someone roll that beautiful spleen footage...

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Guts and Bolts

What's in the box?!?!
Tonight on CSI:Somewhere, a pox falls over the Greater Metro's Upper Heartland as a routine news story about an old warehouse leads to grisly discovery. Someone’s offing city officials and unless ‘Slinger and the Brain soon find out who, the next three months of newscasts will run OUT of groundbreakings, ribbon-cuttings and the occasional closed door kerfuffle. Can the surly duo put their differences aside and catch the killer? Or will wisecracking producers have to log off their Facebook accounts long enough to re-write their b-blocks? Car lot spots hang in the balance as the market’s third most popular news crew chase a mysterious figure up a rickety transmitter tire, only to watch him plummet to his death. Did he slip? Was he pushed? Or did the killer simply give up after a certain photog, enraged after missing a week of lunch breaks, berated him with the kind of language normally reserved for prison yards, warships and journalistic circles? Listener Discretion Advised.