Editors Note:

EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Schmuck ALERT: Just Go Away!

Sergeant SchmuckCalling All Cars! Calling All Cars! Proceed to Sycamore Avenue. Sergeant Pornstache has skipped his meds again and is now accosting a photog. Witnesses say he pushed the cameraman back a block, ranted about his thirty year career and threatened to go viral. The camera's red light glowing. Repeat, the red light is glowing! Apprehend immediately! The repeated use of tasers HAS been authorized...

Sadly, that dispatch came too late. Before reason could be restored to Suffolk County, a member of the local media got locked up and a veteran cop proved himself a complete tool. It started where it ended: Long Island. A photog named Phillip from Stringernews.com responded to a police chase turned car crash and quickly fell out of favor with the force. It's unclear if any officers were injured in the wreck, but judging from the pulse of one Sergeant, Robocop himself was pinned under a couple of Hummers and the TV truck had just backed over the jaws of life. "GO AWAY!" yells Sarge - the first of thirteen times. Phillip does so, slowly - all the while being told his just being there threatened a perfectly good investigation. It's hard not to notice kids ambling by the crash scene as the credentialed photog is forced back a block. Near the end of the inevitable Youtube clip, we see the angry officer swooping in by squad car, whereupon arrests Phiilip the photog for obstructing an investigation some distance away... Can't we all just get along? Apparently not. Ya know, it only makes so much sense to argue with a guy who's packin' heat, but I would like to ask Sergeant Neckvein there just what America looks like on his watch. From where I stand on a public street, it doesn't seem to matter whether I'm holding a fancycam or a dandelion as long as I stay out of the way. As a guy who finds himself at just such occasions, I dread the day I come across a deputy so bedeviled by my presence. SCHMUCK!


Rad said...

Ahhhh, now that I see the still frame photo you've used... I KNOW this dude! Yeah, from the disco floor! That's a an old-school disco move right there. This guy does a great cop/stripper routine!


Lenslinger said...

Coem to think of it, I do believe he was third from left in the Village People.

Weaver said...

That's DOUBLE SCHMUCK! Unbelievable!

Anonymous said...

these guys have the monopoly on violence and the redistribution of violence. when they arrive on the scene i know that i am in more danger than before. run forrest run when they show up

UK Lensman said...

Go Phil!!!
would love to know if anything came of this?
hope the clip aired too.
bully fool twonk!

what happen to the freedom of the press!?

makes your blood boil!

Kind regards
UK lensman

Mainstreet said...

What a total jack ass. someone needs to remind him of the oath he took 30 years ago. I sincerely hope the outcome is that he gets fired and loses his retirement...and ends up having to work as a walmart door greeter for the rest of his life. The only thing missing from this wankers uniform is the SS collar brass.

tvphotog said...

I've been a news photographer for 30 years and have never seen such a large idiot (well, except for the time a horse-mounted officer purposedly tried to run me over while I was shooting a car theft in progress.)
Please let us know what happened to this police idiot!