Friday, May 27, 2011

End of the Innocence

Alfonzo and Scotty
Next Stop: Rehab... Alfonzo and Scotty
One's a fresh faced country crooner, the other's a mustachioed videotape. Together they're gonna take on the mob, raise an adorable orphan and crash every wedding from here to Gardenia! Okay, so I don't know the exact pitch, but I guaran-damn-tee you Alfonzo Beta suggested some kind of buddy pic project to our newly ordained American Idol. Ya know, Scotty McCreery seemed like a nice kid when we cornered him in Garner last week. It's a shame to see him hanging with skeevy show-biz types so soon after his coronation. Then again, it's impossible to dodge this bright yellow gadfly. For years now, he's skirted the edges of Hollywood, never letting the fact that he's an old Sony SX tape with a scribbled-on face stop him from hoping on private jets, cadging free drinks and bedding the occasional starlet. Now, he's gotten to Scottie. I just hope our teenage phenom was able to shake him. See, Alfonzo left a wife and a couple of Mini-DV's back in Sacramento and he's known to stay out all night clubbing with little regard to his state of rewind. That may be fine for an industry standard, but young Mr. McCreery needs a healthier influence if he's gonna survive the pitfalls of sudden stardom... I wonder if Charlie Sheen is available?


Chris said...

I never thought that little beta would amount to much, but I suppose I was wrong. He's all grown up now.

Thanks again for legitimizing my ludicrous hobby that may one day land me in the looney bin.

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