Editors Note:


EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Monday, November 16, 2009

A View to a Spill


Not since Bigfoot egged those PETA protesters outside the Today Show has a piece of videotape caused such rabid controversy. I'm talking about the shove(?) felt 'round the world. Well, at least in my circles. Truth is, I was all but dozing over an open manuscript last night when, deep within the Lenslinger Lair, a half empty bottle of Maker's Mark started beeping. 'Schmuck Alert?' I wondered, pushing through the fake bookcase that leads to my inner most sanctum. But before I could fully wiggle into my costume... er, uniform, an emergency tweet flashed across the surface of a nearby lava lamp:

'Ease up on the kick-ass, 'Slinger, we're talking the NFL here'.

Swallowing a curse, I stepped out of my thigh-high red plastic boots and considered the source. NFL, huh? Those cats are delusional! Sure, there's plenty of fancycam operators in play, but most everyone gathered on the gridiron is bat-shit crazy. Coaches, fans, refs and players - they no more adhere to the laws of logic than reality show judges. I mean, have you seen the way these people behave when some half-literate millionaire kicks a ball through the uprights? Have you? Expecting them to act like civilized humans is as pathetic as a suburban father of two pretending to be a superhero...

Forget I mentioned that last part, would ya? Just know that while I'm outfitting my alter ego, the photog nation is reviewing the tape and avoiding a consensus. Did Belichick's goon really pull a Gilooly on that NBC cameraman? Or did dude just reach the end of his cable and wipe out on his own? Does a football coach really need a bouncer? Do these tights make me look fat? Again, it's mostly rhetorical, so keep your fashion to yourself. However, if you have an opinion on said fracas, a conspiracy theory to share, or the number of a tailor who won't ask any questions, I'd like to hear about it. Now if you'll excuse me I have to shimmy back UP this pole...

Knew I should have ordered the jetpack.

3 comments:

JimmyD said...

When I first saw it, I thought he was pushed aside and down. Then I watched again, and saw him hit the end of the cable. I've shot a LOT of games tethered, and this can put you on your can, especially if you have the cable clipped to your belt, as you usually will.

Add to that having a new guy working grip (you can see he gave the shooter no warning that he was out of leash) and you fall on your butt.

HOWEVER, then you look at the still shots, taken from the front, and you can see Mr. Security goon pushing him down and away. I think it was a combination-the shooter may have been able to recover from hitting the end of the tether, but, combine that with a shove, and he's on his butt. I don't think either one alone would have put him down, but the two together?

That said, I'd note that there was no way he needed pushed out of the way, he was trotting alongside, just as he's supposed to do.

I sincerely hope that, at least behind the scenes, he gets an apology-the shove was uncalled for.

Oreo said...

So now we know what Garth is doing after Wayne's World.

in-gun-ear said...

Superman always wears his costume under his suit for those immediate persona changes. He doesn't need a changing room.