Editors Note:


EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Tortoise and the Hairy

Tortoise Wars
So why did the tortoise cross the road? Why, to lay a big ole steamer center-screen, of course. It's been awhile since a shelled herbivore has defecated on cue for me, but then again I don't get to the North Carolina Zoo as much as I used to. Was a time I visited Asheboro's crown jewel once a month or so - profiling puffins, stalking sea lions, taunting third-graders. No more. Now I only head down Zoo Parkway for the occasional VIP visit. That's how I found myself dodging Cryptodira crap before lunchtime today, in hopes two Galapagos Tortoises (tor-TIE?) would issue a comment for the camera. It took awhile, but either Tort or Retort (reptile gender forever eludes me) eventually belched up something pungent into my lens. When I came to, a kid in giant SpongeBob sunglasses was asking the zookeeper what time they feed the cameraman. Suddenly in search of a Zippo lighter to stick up my nose, I fled North - where, with the help of Chad 'The King of King' Tucker's lead vocals, I turned my close encounter of the turd kind into a decent little feature. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go pressure-wash my spectacles...

4 comments:

Widescreen said...

Try it with camels. They spit!

Anonymous said...

Have you seen what Stephen Colbert has done (www.comedycentral.com) he's taped an interview and is inviting folks to edit it, and re submit it.

Brit said...

I like the big turtle pic.

HockeyPat said...

Well who wouldn't Brit!!!