Editors Note:


EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Achieving Snowgasm

Dirty NewsSure, it was barely an inch of sleet and slush, but that’s more than enough to trigger a snowgasm here in the South. Fact is, my bosses (and my kids) been jonesin’ for a precip-hit since last winter piffled so completely. Of course they don’t have to bundle up and trudge through the muck of a paralyzed Piedmont. No, that’s my job. And it’s a job I often enjoy - despite my habit of belly-achin’ about it on-line. But we’re not here to stare at my belly button again. We’re here to examine the societal impact of regional inclemency - it’s indirect effect on mobilization, attitudes and foodstuffs hoarding. Something like that, anyway.

Love my TailgateBefore the first flake ever wafted downward, the grown-ups back at the shop had worked themselves into a wintry-mix frenzy. Rundowns, line-ups, radar sweeps and snow codes - I’m pretty sure I saw someone erect a parking lot igloo out of half-gallon milk jugs and ghetto bread loaves. Silly house cats. Don’t they know all that continuing team smotherage doesn’t come without a little pain and deprivation? To help themalong a little, I unplugged all the snack machines in the break-room. Okay, so I didn’t. I did think about it though - until the cell phone on my hip began vibrating and I was thrust back out onto the tundra. Stupid cell phone…

Inert Grocery-GetterIt’s difficult to understand just how one seventh of an inch of slushy snow can flip a sport utility vehicle, but I’m here to tell you, it can. Of course this inverted grocery-getter wasn’t the only stranded auto to pass through my lens this morning. It was however, the piece de resistance - an indelible image that - if it wouldn’t change the world - would certainly cause a few head scratches around the Piedmont’s collective coffee table. Even still, viewers would have a hard time fathoming the amount of effort put into a five second shot. To capture this particular frame, I had to double-back three exits down, drive upstream in the breakdown lane and wear a really itchy pair of long underwear. I know, I know - Too Much Information.

Snowball RiotBut fender-benders alone wouldn’t satiate the News Gods. No - they wanted footage of kids playing in the slush - I mean snow. A simple enough request I guess - but considering schools hadn’t been cancelled I wondered where I’d find such blatant truancy. I needn’t have worried. Why not? I got skillz - well honed photog powers of perception that more than make up for my shocking lack of orienteering abilities. Thus, after only about ten minutes of driving around aimlessly, I stumbled into a target-rich environment - an urban playground full of hyped-up city kids. Shouldering my axe, I waded into the crowd and bagged shot after shot of sporadic snowball fights. All went well until I stuck a lens in one kid’s face and sparked a riot of adolescent posturing. Shout-outs I can take, but when the first slushballs came raining down, I tucked away my fancy-cam and ran away like the fresh-faced schoolgirl I never was.

I’m okay with that.

8 comments:

Carmi said...

I like your view of the world. I'll be back!

John in Miami said...

You still make me smile 'slinger with your take on life and work. Don't ever forget you have some true fans in a lot of places.

Stay warm and dry!

Lensmith

Anonymous said...

Very nice. Heard your "shout out" from JC on the news last night. Good job.

-Chris

Anonymous said...

That should've said JL. Not sure what I was thinking.

-Chris

Anonymous said...

Take a look at the latest entry from:

www.jameytucker.blogspot.com

I thought for sure your hands would be in a project like this!

A fan in Memphis, the land of Elvis.

Anonymous said...

Take a look at the latest entry from:

www.jameytucker.blogspot.com

I thought for sure your hands would be in a project like this!

A fan in Memphis, the land of Elvis.

Anonymous said...

Boy did Jamey's post surprise me! Gotta do another one!

Marie said...

Ummm...so if you ever have to venture to the land of real winter, look me up. Runs on milk and bread are boring footage. Upside down SUV's are good stuff, but the best shots are of Floridians crashing into each other on the slopes. Very entertaining. A must-see. Really, if you are ever up in Boone, give me a call and I'll make sure you get some good interviews/shots.