Editors Note:

EDITOR'S NOTE: Fresh off a three year managerial stint, your friendly neighborhood lenslinger is back on the street and under heavy deadline. As the numbing effects of his self-imposed containment wear off, vexing reflections and pithy epistles are sure to follow...

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Exile, Interrupted

Having spent the past week prone, boneless and comatose, the wife is now demanding I raise my pulse to that of an average cadaver.

“No problem,” I nod - as another twisted guitar solo flickers through my subconscious. "I’ll get right on that and the lawn - just as soon as I finish watching these three dozen Stevie Ray bootlegs on YouTube. Until then, I reserve the right to remain suitably useless, intensely inert, tenaciously incapable of any acts of urgency. Sure, I make it look easy, but a catatonic state of this level requires extraordinary dedication to the science of restraint. A street level shooter of my camera-acumen cannot dash about madly 52 ceaseless weeks a year, ya know? I owe it to my viewers to return to the broadcast refreshed and energized, able to pounce on the next available calamity with the speed of a cheetah and the bloodlust of a jacked-up badger. It’s a jungle out there, all right, heavy with humidity and teeming with predators… overzealous assignment editors, insipid public information officers and the occasional rabid rent-a-cop. No ma’am I cannot risk hurling myself into that perilous void without the proper amount of Zen-like preparation, endless hours spent locked in grueling inaction. It's all a part of a strict regiment of feng shui fitness, focused solely on my triumphant return to the news scene of someone else’s liking. For tomorrow I don the visage of mercenary journalist, a dusty lenslinger riding the horizon to make the electronic frontier safe from the onslaught of a thousand nefarious press releasers - Hmm? What’s that honey?”

“Yeah, I'd love to de-weed the flowerbeds...”

1 comment:

Weaver said...

Welcome Home...See ya in two weeks!

It's almost time for me to hit the road. :-)